Hey gang, I can’t believe I haven’t posted since February! it has been a crazy few months trying to finish school and all my band issues.
It was also hard coming to accept it’s been a year since I left Korea. So much has gone on and changed since I left and nothing went as planned so that put me in a really bad state. When I left Korea I had a good relationship with my band, was planning my wedding with my BF, had my schooling and money all sorted out and that has all come to an end. My band hates me, my bf moved on without me, I switched school programs for that guy and I hated it (and I had to get more student loans = more money problems) and I don’t know where I am going in life.
However the sun is still rising every day so it is a new chance to make things better. I am still taking heartburn medicine which has helped but trying to sort out things with my band has been tough. I get mad night coughs but I am doing better with that by having a sliderish meal for dinner and/or eating at least 4 hours before bed and no liquids 1 hour before bed.
I still haven’t seen a band doctor because now Dr Kang is being difficult and won’t write a letter of referral which the closest doctor to me needs. I don’t have the money for this doctor either but there is no more putting this off. I see my family doctor in a few weeks and I am hoping maybe if she write an emergency plea to this local doc that he will accept that and take me as a patient. Seems stupid to deny me as a patient just because I don’t have a formal letter stating I have 8cc in my 10 cc band ( which is all that is needed.)
Now that school is almost over I am focusing more on my weight and working out. I gained weight after starting this heartburn medicine but I am back down to what I weighted in January. Now that my roommate and I are training for a warrior race thing we gotta get our butts in gear. I go to the gym 5-6 times a week and run 3 times a week and do weights and crunches on my own at home when I have time. It might sound like a lot but sometimes I can only squeeze in 45 minutes to an hour at the gym and running is only 45 minutes so really isn’t too much. I am noticing a huge change in my body but not on the scale. That’s ok though numbers on the scale don’t really mean a thing.
With all my problems with eating, I have been trying to keep it healthy. With gyming too I make sure I get in a protein shake a day. I use the whey protein low carb (1g) high protein (25g) shake stuff and it is amazing with milk, ice, and fruit. Chicken is also something I eat a lot of as well as tuna, egg, and beans. I just went through a huge sushi faze so I had a lot of seafood for about a month. Now I am trying to eat less salt and such so little soya sauce as much as possible.
I can only do this lifestyle for a few months because I will be studying in Spain for a month in July! I hope to have a better body and a better relationship with my band by then. I also really need to work on myself because the ending of this last relationship is still tearing me apart and its been months since we split (which I was blindsided). I hate dating, I hate new, and I hate having to go through all of my medical and past things with each new relationship. I think I might start writing a manual to understanding me and make a test and if a guy can handle it and pass the test he can stick around.